March 6

hey there.  just me again.  today i think i'm gonna write about my kids.

i have 3...two girls and a boy.  and here's how it stands with them.

my boy is the youngest.  he is my little sweetheart.  he's 10 now and i don't want him to ever grow up or change.  i like him just the way he is.  i never wanted a boy.  especially after all the little boys that we knew were such little hellions.  but he is so special to me.  sweet and loving and affectionate.  oh don't get me wrong, he's a boy through and through.  loves video games, lego and roughing it with his friends.  oh ya, and fighting with his sisters.  :)

then i have my 13 yr old.  she just got her nose pierced.  she is rebellious and defiant like you would not believe.  oh, and a huge slob.  she would rather stay mad at me than anything else in the world.  yet she is by far my most intelligent child.  she gets awesome grades in school without even trying.  and she is so incredibly talented!  anything that she puts her mind to she excels at.  she can sing, dance, draw, paint, you name it.  and for that i am proud of her.  i just wish that we were a little closer sometimes.

and my 15 yr old.  when she was younger she was the shyest kid around.  barely ever spoke.  didn't laugh or cry.  and now, she is so full of life.  so happy.  friends all around her.  and she is making good choices.  don't get me wrong, i'm not naive.  i know she has tried drinking and drugs.  we have talked about it.  but it is not something that she wants to get messed up in.  we've talked about sex and birth control.  we talk about everything.  oh i'm sure there are some things that she doesn't tell me.  but she is not afraid to come to me with anything or ask questions.  i am so incredibly proud of her for that.

the hardest part for me right now is watching my kids grow up, become more independant, make choices and decisions for themselves.  and watching them grow away.  it is becoming harder and harder for them to find time for me.  and it's really hard watching them slip away.  all i can do is try to keep them as close as they'll let me.  and to make sure that they know i will always be there for them.